It Was When I Got Body-Shamed I Discovered I Am Body-Positive

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

This was originally supposed to be on Instagram. But I want to get a discussion going so I'm putting it here instead.

I recently got body-shamed by an acquaintance who was trying to sell me some "magic" underwear. I won't go into much detail about the product except that it worked in making me an inch smaller everywhere by tucking stuff away. What I want to focus on was the way she pitched the product.

It was just so wrong.

Before I tell you what happened, I need to say that I am at my all-time heaviest. I'm petite but wear a size 10. I used to be a 0. Yes, I want to lose weight - who wouldn't? But I choose to work at it the healthy way instead of looking for a miracle. And if I don't go back to my original size, it's okay as long as I feel healthy.

So this woman, asked me to fit the "magic" underwear. She then tells me that my boobs look higher with her bra. Honey, I'm a few years away from 40. Gravity will catch up and I've accepted that.

Then she said my panties make my fat obvious. Sure, thongs and spanx are nice, but I choose comfort for my day to day wear. I don't have a need to look sexy when my schedule revolves around buying groceries, paying bills, walking the dog and cleaning litter boxes. And please, my granny panties rock!

No matter what she said to make me feel insecure, I had a comeback. I know my body is far from perfect but I've made peace with that fact and I'm okay with it. Sure, I'll work at being better but its not the end of the world if I can't wear a body hugging outfit.

What infuriates me is how she tried to prey on what she thought would be my insecurities for the sake of making a quick buck. I feel bad for the other women she has done this to. You might call me naive because this practice is everywhere. I know that. But on a more personal level, can't we be kinder to each other? There's enough shit going on - we don't need this.

The good thing that came out of this experience was I discovered I love myself more because of the way I reacted.

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  1. It's great that you had something ready to say back to her - and it's great that you'd rather stay healthy than look for a miracle. What would be the point of stuffing yourself into something uncomfortable day after day just to go to the grocery store?

  2. Way to go, girl! I can totally relate to the way you're feeling right now! I gained 40 lbs in the past 5 years (used to be size 4). So many of my friends subtly body shamed me by asking if I'm pregnant or if I'm sick, and I just answer with a smile that it's because I am happy and I'm enjoying life to the fullest. My weight gain is a result of my newlyfound passion for cooking, because my husband absolutely adores my homemade dishes and prefers them to restaurant food any day. How can I be unhappy when I get complimented daily? :) I've been working on dropping some of that weight lately, using healthy methods. Definitely none of that spanx, starving, and poop teas stuff. You do you and ignore the haters <3

  3. I would drop this acquaintance like a bag of dirt. Unfortunately, preying on people's body insecurities seems to work. Have you ever seen those Nutrisystem commercials with Marie Osmond? She tries SO HARD to make me feel bad about myself. It's terrible! Kudos to you for being healthy and loving yourself (and having a comeback).

  4. That's awesome that you were able to say something back to her in return. Good for your. I am at my all time biggest right now... I had been a size 7 for so long and then after having my kids, I went up to a size 22. It's not easy to lose it once you have it on... but this post put a smile on my face, you're awesome.

  5. I'm so, so sorry that you had to go through that! Honestly - I have no idea what has happened to humankind, that we are now brought up without the most basic manners or politeness, and crib, whine about and hate on each other to this extent. I completely agree about the lacy lingerie. It's all very well for a couple of hours once in a while, but I prefer my boy-shorts for everyday wear.

  6. I think you have the right attitude. The right garments can enhance you, but there's nothing sexier than self-confidence. And shame on the consultant for her tactics.

  7. What a crazy story - I'm so glad you were able to stand up to this woman! I'm a size 10 as well - 5' 4" and curvy. I have been working out and eating better, losing a few pounds, gaining some confidence, but to be honest, I really love my curves. Health and wellness is the goal - NOT the number on the scale or on my jeans!!!

  8. I know how you feel! When I was working in a tanning salon, we were supposed to basically do that to our customers to push a diet supplement that we sold there, hence me not working there anymore. As someone who has gained over 60 pounds in the past 5 years due to thyroid and hormone imbalances, I know how hard it can be to be on the receiving end of those comments, as I have been many times from "friends" and even my own family. It's bad enough coming from strangers, but when it's people you know, it's too much. I've been working with my doctor to get all of my imbalances under control and making changes to my diet and exercise habits to be healthier. It's awesome that you're able to have that confidence and self love, and I hope that one day I'll have that, too. People can be so awful, I really don't know what's happened to us.

  9. The older I get the less I care about how I look. It does rage me when my jean waistband is tight, but mostly because it hurts!

  10. Good for you for not feeding into her attempt to make you feel bad about yourself. That's awesome! And I also have to agree...granny panies are the best :-P

  11. Kudos to you!!! And SHAME on her! It's a shame that people don't think before they speak.


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